Maybe there is The One for everyone, you know, the one who knows exactly who and what you are, and loves you regardless.
And while you of course can have a meaningful relationship with someone else, you’ll never quite find that same acceptance and unconditional love which you could have with the one.
I guess the important question is (well, not important, but the one that bothers me at least..) whether or not to settle with the good (but not “perfect”) relationship, or rather stay alone. And what to do with the nagging feeling of “he doesn’t really know me, and if he did, he wouldn’t accept/love me the way I am…”
And it’s not even really about the other one being perfect for me, but it’s more about me not being perfect for the other one.
Hell, sometimes I feel it would’ve been easier not knowing how good things could be.
(oh. And can I just take these few seconds to say “September. Fuck you, just go to hell.”)
This is the first year without “an anniversary” -meeting with the hospital chaplain… even when I’m not exactly a “religious” person (read: not in the least bit), having the option to talk with her seemed to make this time just a little bit easier, and provide a rope to grab on if things got really bad..